Courage begins where fear shows up

I had a coaching session with a smart, driven client. He works in a large multinational company and is involved in many important projects. A high performer, no doubt. But what brought him to our session was something unexpected: his fear of swimming.

As summer vacation approached, this fear became louder in his mind, not letting him rest. Whether it’s the sea, a small pool, or simply water on the floor in general, this fear blocks him almost completely—even just touching the water with his foot could become difficult sometimes.

We started the session. I asked:
“What kind of conversation would you like today?”
His answer was direct and confident:
“I’d like a strong, professional coaching conversation—with challenges and deep reflections.”

So, we dove in.

In the first part of the conversation, we explored his dream and long-term vision—where he sees himself in three years or more. Despite having a bold, inspiring dream, the fear of swimming quickly showed up again, almost taking over the space. Only a small spark of hope remained that this fear could be conquered.

I gently asked:
“How would your life—both personal and professional—change if you had no fear of swimming?”

He shared many powerful benefits he could imagine.

To align even better with his session goal, I asked:
“In today’s session, do you want us to look at your swimming fear specifically, or go deeper into another idea you just mentioned?”
He smiled and replied:
“Yes, yes! I was thinking the same thing—let’s look at the fear.”

I asked for permission to explore more deeply what he was feeling.
First, I invited him to pause and reflect:
“What do you feel right now, just talking about this fear?”

This simple step often helps clients start to really see themselves.

He responded clearly:
“I feel fear in my body. I think we all carry fears like this in some way.”

I shared what I was feeling too—a slight tension in my own body. Then I gave him space to continue.

After a short silence, he added:
“Actually, I think what scares me most is the pool.”

We explored his most recent experience around swimming—especially connected to pools.

As we talked, he began recognizing a pattern—how his thoughts amplify the fear.

That was just the first step.

Then, I introduced a small exercise to help him “see” how our thoughts influence our feelings:

I asked him to imagine a 10 cm wide, 2-meter-long wood bar on the floor.
“If I asked you to walk on it, how would you feel?”
“Very good! That would be fun—I used to do that as a kid!”

Then I changed the scenario:
“Now imagine the same bar is one meter above the floor, like in a gymnastics contest. How would you feel walking on it now?”
“Wow! I’d be scared—afraid I might fall or get hurt.”

“Exactly.”

He paused, then said something beautiful:
“I think I feel both fear and courage at the same time. I used to see them as separate things.”

At the end of the session, I asked him to reflect:
“What’s clearer for you now? And after a while, What can you accept more about yourself today, and would be useful from now on?”

He took a small but meaningful step by watching Avatar with his best friend to see how easily the characters swim.

Sometimes, it seems like we can feel both fear and courage at the same time. But as one grows stronger and clearer, the other becomes smaller.

It’s up to us to choose what we focus on more.

So, I ask you now:
In your dream, in your vision—how are you training your courage?

Professional coaching can support amazing people in observing themselves deeply and discovering their own unique way to train their courage.